Yellow: “I know there are some Stooges among us – but what is the purpose of this rule?”
Red: “They are in cahoots with Mr Inaslov – who wants to destroy us from within. Inaslov knows that every time we botch a game of Spider Solitaire then our morale will diminish. Eventually we will perform badly at our daily tasks and things will quickly turn to rot13(fuvg)”
Pink: “Sneaky fellow that Inaslov. I never like those filthy Russians …”
White: “Hey! There’s no need for that kind of discrimination. We should be grateful that none of us are judged by the colour of our skin.”
Damn, thought Yellow. I guess I’m not using Sludge as a nickname for Brown any time soon.
Brown: “Does that mean we either need to win this Spider Solitaire hand or eject all the Stooges?”
Green: “That’s correct. In other words, there are two ways to win.”
Orange: “But there are also two ways to lose. If we eliminate too many Cool Mates so they no longer have a majority against the Stooges then it’s game over. Therefore, random guessing is not a viable strategy.”
Dark Blue: “Wait a minute. This sounds very interesting but how do I know that Red and Orange are not Stooges?”
Purple: “Maybe GREEN IS SUS. Making a notation error on the fourth move – come on! It’s probably a coded message to send signals to another Stooge.”
Dark Green: “Why does everyone pick on me?”
Blue: “Purple was talking about Green, not Dark Green”
White was deep in thought. Although not the technically strongest player, he was well-known for his Project Management smarts among the White-skin community. This was easily one of the most dysfunctional teams he had ever managed. At this rate they would be lucky to string together three turnovers without someone dropping the S-bomb that rhymes with “bus”. On second thoughts, this could be exactly what White was hoping for – if he was one of the Three Stooges.
Black: “Again we digress. We should concentrate on the cards in front of us. In any case it is not our job to eject players. That’s the responsibility of our team captain – Bart Wright, Schistocerca Americana, or whoever happens to be reading Spider GM’s blog on the day.”