It had been 30 years since the Ninja Monkey become the first dude in the Animal Kingdom to beat Four-Suit Spider Solitaire. The affable Tim Croofs had decided to throw a massive party of Solitaire binge-playing and every monkey, his dog and literally every millipede on the planet was invited. As an extra incentive every win would be worth double the usual Experience Points.
Captain oBVIOUS was keen to try his new strategy of becoming the Grand Doctor Of Spider Solitaire. Recall that whoever has the most experience points would become the Grand Doctor Of Spider Solitaire, and the captain reasoned that all he had to do was beat enough 1-suit hands to gain as many XP as he desired.
Meanwhile, Gravelsealer Geoeyes was struggling with the 2-suit version of the game. He could win just under half the time. The dog on the adjacent table was faring even worse. It was not very smart – it could only beat one game in three.
It was not just Spider Solitaire. Several other games were being played, such as the well-known Freecell, Klondike, Pyramid and the like.
A number of dumb bunnies were playing Snap. Apparently, the Bad Idea Bears thought it would be a hilarious prank if they told them the first player to win ten games in a row would earn 10,000 experience points (and several epiphanies would occur at the same time).
Not surprisingly it was the Eagle showing everyone else how it’s done. With a 25% success rate at the four-suit level he was easily top of the Experience Points Leaderboard.
The Wise Snail arrives three hours late to the party. He signs up, and then he waits …
And waits …
And waits …
And waits …
And waits …
“Sorry,” says Captain oBVIOUS, as he taps the Eagle’s shoulder. “You’ve got to hurry up.”
“Shush, I’m trying to think,” replies the Eagle. “This is a critical point of the hand.”
“The playing room is packed with people and animals,” continues Captain oBVIOUS. “Half of them are waiting for the organisers to print more playing cards. Thank you for your patience and underst- ”
The Eagle notices with horror that the playing room is indeed packed with people and animals and half of them are waiting for the organisers to print more playing cards. I can’t remember the last time my best student was shown up by Captain oBVIOUS.
“The room may be packed, but at least there’s no deadly virus ravaging the Animal Kingdom,” quips the Smart 65,83,83.
“You’re Not Helping,” growls the Lion, who is also waiting for a game.
“*** Sigh ***” sighs the captain. “I guess I’m not becoming the Grand Doctor Of Spider Solitaire after all. Several other players are playing non-stop and they seem to be more skilled than me.”
“More skilled than I,” quips the Smart 65,83,83.
“Oh For 70,85,67,75,83 Sake!” shout several animals in unison.
“We did it! We did it!” shouts Tim Croofs, oblivious to the numerous players as they grumble about not enough cards and too much overcrowding.
“MOST NUMBER OF GAMES PLAYED IN A SINGLE DAY, WE BROKE THE RECORD 70,85,67,75, 89,69,65,72!!!!!!!”
“LET’S DO IT AGAIN! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN!”
Tim Croofs and organisers high-five each other and live happily ever after.
Edifying Thoughts of a Spider Solitaire Addict 